"If there's such a thing as a congenital smart aleck, Rachel Mosteller is it. The 27-year-old Houston journalist has been ready with a well-timed barb since her elementary-school years. "I made my first quip when I was about 10. My parents were getting divorced right around my birthday, and I said, 'Well, isn't that a great present,'" she recalls. "That made my mom pretty mad."
Mosteller has continued to hone her sensibility ever since. "I tend to use it when I think people are taking themselves too seriously," she says.
Certified wisecrackers may see their snarky remarks as clever diversions, but because the distinction between a joke and an insult can be nebulous, they can easily damage relationships and careers with their one-liners. Frustrated by her company's practice of feting model employees with Hallmark-style gifts, Mosteller posted a send-up of the policy on her blog, The Sarcastic Journalist, in 2005. "You go and do something spectacular (most likely, you're doing your JOB) and someone says, 'Why golly, that was spectacular.' Then they bring you chocolate and some balloons," she wrote. Though she never disclosed her real name or the company's, higher-ups got wind of the post and she was promptly fired.
So why do wisecrackers keep their bons mots coming at the risk of alienating others? Though they may not be aware of it, sarcasm is their means of indirectly expressing aggression toward others and insecurity about themselves. Wrapping their thoughts in a joke shields them from the vulnerability that comes with directly putting one's opinions out there. "Sarcastic people protect themselves by only letting the world see a superficial part of who they are," says Steven Stosny, a Washington, D.C.-based therapist and anger specialist. "They're very into impression management."
Because humor and hostility often come mixed together, it can be difficult to pinpoint a wisecracker's primary intent. "Sometimes sarcasm is humor—purely a Don Rickles kind of joking—and sometimes it's just innocently insensitive," Stosny says. "But other times, it's devaluing." Everyone benefits from a wisecracker's comic relief, but if you are the target of regular swipes, it's best to assertively call the joker out. His hilariousness doesn't give him the right to belittle you."
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